Don’t make me Responsible!

Why? Because if I am responsible, then it’s incumbent upon me to have to change. But I don’t wanna change. I want my spouse to change. It’s not my fault. And as long as it’s not my fault I’m not responsible. I am the victim.

Here’s a summary of the transcript in bullet points with timestamps:

1. Introduction & Purpose of the Live Stream (00:02 – 01:59)
   • First live stream of The Happy Wife School Show.
   • Aims to discuss relationship dynamics, particularly why women are the primary cause of relationship issues.
   • Plans to address common pushbacks and her perspective as a “happiness expert.”
2. Core Belief: Women Are the Primary Cause of Relationship Issues (02:32 – 05:05)
   • Emphasizes the importance of self-accountability in relationships.
   • Argues that seeing oneself as the problem empowers change.
   • Victim mentality prevents personal growth and relationship improvement.
3. Understanding Good Men & Relationship Dynamics (07:11 – 09:39)
   • Defines “good men” as naturally kind, responsible, and hard-working.
   • Claims that women’s emasculating behaviors (e.g., controlling, criticizing) push good men away.
   • When women drop these behaviors, men re-engage positively in the relationship.
4. The Role of Women in Changing Relationship Dynamics (10:23 – 11:38)
   • States that it’s easier for women to change than men in a relationship with a good man.
   • Once a woman drops her defensive behaviors, 90% of relationship problems disappear.
   • Remaining issues are normal relationship challenges (finances, parenting, etc.).
5. Teaching Men About Emasculation (13:02 – 14:33)
   • Helps men recognize when they are being emasculated.
   • Claims good men are often “literal victims” of emotional abuse.
   • Encourages men to take responsibility once they recognize the issue.
6. Happiness as the Key to Healthy Relationships (21:40 – 24:15)
   • Defines happiness as having a healthy relationship with oneself.
   • Says many relationship issues stem from seeking validation externally rather than internally.
   • Learning to be happy independently leads to healthier relationships.
7. Influences & Red Pill Perspective for Women (27:03 – 30:36)
   • Inspired by mentors and influencers like Pearl Davis.
   • Discusses “red-pilling” women—helping them see their own behaviors and reality.
   • Encourages women to embrace self-awareness and personal growth.
8. Closing Thoughts & Community Engagement (32:23 – 34:54)
   • Acknowledges that her message is controversial but aims to help women willing to listen.
   • Encourages open-mindedness and self-reflection.
   • Plans for more live streams and engagement with her audience.

Timestamps:

1. 0:00 Welcome and Introduction 
2. 1:44 Special Thanks
3. 2:32 Women are the Primary Cause of Relationship Issues
4. 11:29 The Man’s Responsibilities in a Relationship
5. 21:31 Why I Call Myself “The Happiness Expert”
6. 26:58 Questions and Comments

Title: “WOMEN Are To Blame In Relationships with Good Men: FACT! | The Happy Wife School Show Ep. 1”

Transcript: “(00:02)

Hi everyone welcome to the happy wife School in my first live stream.

in the happy wife school if you are here live and you can hear me if you could let me know in the chats that would be really helpful uh so that we can we can get going I love doing uh live videos uh and this is my my first one in the channel so this is exciting let’s see [Music] all right just waiting to see to make sure everybody can hear me oh good sounds good thanks arch nemesis and thanks for your question uh just to set up how we’ll do this live today (00:47) um I’m first I want to get into the questions that I put in the description of this video so first I want to talk about why I believe that women are the primary cause of all relationship issues and really talking about the psychology of relationships and then I’m going to get into what about men what about their responsibilities because that’s typically the biggest um pushback I get or the biggest challenge that I get in what I speak about and what I teach and then I’m going to share a little bit about why I call myself the (01:23) happiness expert and my journey to get here and and be on YouTube and have this Channel and then I will get to at the end some questions and comments in the live chat so I look forward to that so just know uh at the end of the broadcast there will be plenty of time to go over some questions and and comments so thank you guys so much for being here um thanks for your support on my channel I did not um I did not expect necessarily for it to grow this fast I had a goal I was like all right I’m going to get to a thousand (01:59) subscribers by the new year um to get my message out so I’m just uh very very humbled and very grateful that you’re here and supporting me and my message speaks to so many of you and I know it doesn’t speak to everybody it’s not supposed to um but I’m just very touched and and very grateful for all of you so thank you so much um so let’s get started and and like I said we’ ll have time for some questions at the end so put them in the in the chat box and I’ll make sure to get to some of them uh once I once I talk a little bit about (02:32) this so the first place that I want to go is really why do I believe that women are the primary cause of all relationship issues and to really talk about that I want to get into the psychology of of relationships and it’s important to know I’m not a therapist I’m a teacher and everything that I’ve taught over the last decade has been what I have learned and I’m so grateful to my mentor David cope and it’s been what I’ve learned through my own experience of life my own experience of marriage and also working with clients and teaching clients for (03:11) like I said about the last about the last 10 years so I’m not a therapist I’m a teacher so I have a very different perspective than marriage counseling or even individual therapy and we’re going to get into that a little bit so why I believe that women are the primary cau se of all relationship issues really boils down to understanding just even just as humans and then I’ll get into the female the woman part of it is understanding that I must see myself as the problem in my relationships I must see myself as the problem in life (03:53) in order to be the solution and the reason for that and and what we all know is that the only person that we have any control over to change is ourselves and so as long as and this is what I had to learn in my own marriage as long as I believe that my husband is the problem and that he’s the one that needs to change that he’s the one making me miserable he’s the one making me unhappy that makes me a victim and I’m not talking about being victimized or a victim of abuse or a victim of crime I’m talking about victim (04:31) mentality that as long as I think someone else is the problem whether that’s my husband or my mom or my dad or my family or my boss or my job then there’s no solution to change the only way that we can h ave change in our relationships the only way we can have change in life is to see ourselves as the problem because then we are empowered to be the solution we all know that we have no control to change anyone else the only person that we have any control to change is ourselves and the reason that I am so passionate (05:05) about women knowing this is one that I’m a woman and this has been my journey and my marriage and my life that has completely transformed the experience of myself completely t ransformed my marriage completely transformed my relationships with my family is when I can look at myself and know I’m the problem it’s so much simpler in my especially in my marriage with good men because I stopped being focused on what everyone else is doing or not doing and I can be focused on me and my own changes oh thank you I just got a message that (05:51) I’m cutting out a lot is that is that true for people in the in the chat I just wanna I want to check sorry to get off off topic her e I just want to check if I’m cutting out or if you guys can still hear me okay I’m just gonna wait for just a second this is a new experience being Live on YouTube a little different than than recording no disruption all right then I’m gonna keep on going so let’s talk about like I said why it’s so much easier for us as women uh but it’s good now okay great if you guys can just let me know if when it’s cutting out and (06:32) I’ll keep an eye on that um so the reason that it’s so much easier an d and I know it it’s challenging for us as women my message can be challenging and how you hear it is how can you put all the blame on women I know that’s a challenging that can be a challenging pill uh to swallow but when we do it actually makes it so much simpler because my message is for women who are in relationships with good men my message isn’t for people who are in abusive or dysfunctional relationships it’s for relationships when you are with a good (07:11) man and ladies what we want t o understand about Good Men is their nature and good men in the comments you know will will speak up and say yeah that’s me the nature of Good Men is that they are naturally kind they’re hard-working they naturally want to take responsibility they are thoughtful they are men of their word they are men of character so when as women when we’re in a relationship and we’re married to Good Men when we are willing to look at and acknowledge are emasculating ways the ways that we are controlling the wa ys that we make (08:04) our husbands wrong the ways that we push our husbands away and build walls around our hearts and we recognize that those are our behaviors and a relationship we have to see that in a relationship with a good man it’s those very emasculating behaviors it’s it’s having our walls up that pushes a good man away and so what we do as women being victims in our relationship and blaming our husbands and blaming men is that we take their behaviors of pulling away because of our em asculating behaviors and we say see look at him he doesn’t (08:48) pay me attention he’s checked out of the relationship or sometimes good men are reactive to our emasculating ways and our walls and they they fight back and we say see look at him he’s angry he’s aggressive and we put the blame on them but as soon as we’re willing as women to look at ourselves and to drop our walls to outgrow our emasculating ways what happens is a good man re-engages in the relationship and he feels safe in the relationship because when we drop our walls and we stop our emasculating ways then we actually show up in our true (09:39) nature as women which is soft and loving and kind and then a good man feels safe to re-engage and all of a sudden this is what happened for me in my marriage is all of a sudden the ways that you thought he was checked out of the relationship or that he didn’t care about you or that that he was reacting and he was the one that was angry then you begin to see the good man that you married and it makes it so much easier so I work with women primarily but I’ve also worked with men and what I have learned is it’s so much (10:23) easier for a woman to change in a relationship with a good man because as soon as she does it’s like 90 percent of the relationship issues disappear and all that’s left are the normal 10 of issues in a relationship that we can expect just the normal challenges and ups and downs of a marriage like family and in-laws or working together on a budge t or working through challenges of maybe a spouse losing their job or the challenges of parenting and having kids but all the relationship issues of feeling ignored of feeling (11:01) there’s a lack of intimacy of feeling unappreciated all of those disappear in a relationship with a good man when a woman drops her walls and changes her emasculating ways so it is so much easier for a woman in a relationship with a good man to change so coming back to the psychology of relationships and understand ing we have to see ourselves as the problem in relationships if we want to change is I teach the exact same thing to men so when men come through my men’s relationship course I teach them the same thing (11:38) that they have to see themselves as the problem in their marriage but they have to see something very different because men and women are different we have different issues so just how I have a woman see oops have a woman see how she’s the problem in the relationship by being emasculating e Behavior so it’s very very difficult for them to Spot It because a lot of times they might be with a wife who is more covert and her emasculating ways and she puts on the happy mask like I did but he’s still feeling like there’s something off and so I have to pull back the curtain for (13:02) good men to help them see all the ways that his wife is emasculating and all the ways she is putting her happiness in his hands and he feels like he’s letting her down over and over and over and over agai f and my marriage is that with my walls up and being emasculating I was emotionally abusive to my husband and he was a literal victim and good men are literal victims not victim mindset literal victims to emotional abuse when they’re with a masculating woman so I have to help them see that and then once they can see that then they have to take responsibility that now that they see it they have a (14:33) choice they can no longer be a victim to it they have a choice to either stay and navigate th there’s a spectrum all women are emasculating and so I teach men you didn’t get the wrong wife you didn’t it the grass isn’t Greener anywhere else so they often learn to navigate it and focus on the good things about their wife and then no longer be a victim to the emasculation it just bounces off but in my experience of working with both men and women it is so much easier for a woman to change and drop her walls because a good man all he wants is for his wife to be happy and one she is and (15: me out and I’m actually really appreciative of (16:32) it I have to take a deep breath when it happens because that woman way wants to come up and I want to be like no and defend myself but my husband will say things like hey you want to say that a different way or hey could you ask that in a different way or could you say please because he’s learned to become strong in himself and that continues to push me to become stronger in myself and continue to evolve as a woman and a wife and continue to the double standards that we have as women um making my husband wrong or judging him catching ourselves and those behaviors (17:46) becomes how we build our character and how we build our integrity as a person and and as a woman and what I’ve learned is is that I need my husband as a good man to help me find the goodness in myself as a woman and my true nature as a woman and bring that to the table and for my husband and and for good men that I’ve worked with catching the emasculation or catchin ips and have healthy relationships is that we have to see ourselves as the problem and we have different problems and issues as men and women I know that’s not that’s not groundbreaking we (19:09) all know that that we’re different but that becomes the growth and and we have to see ourselves as the problem so that we are not victims and we can be empowered to change and that’s really the bigger picture of understanding the Dynamics of relationships and how we have a healthy relationship with Exc uld bet you what he’s gonna say and they go and they do it and they come back and he said he says he just wants me to be happy I said that’s exactly it that’s why we do have those phrases happy life happy wife or if mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy because it’s true all good men (20:27) want for us as women is to be happy and when we are things go well and they’re in a Harmony that’s why I often talk about it’s like as women we’re the son and men are the Earth and they revolve around our mood re and we see his his character and integrity as a good man so it’s just it’s so much easier it’s so much easier for us as women to change so this leads me into the next point and I’ve seen things a little bit off in the side in the chat thank you so much for being here I’m going to address some questions here in just a little bit (21:40) uh in the chat and some comments but the next place that I want to talk about is why do I call myself the happiness expert well everything that I am sharing ab who I’m incredibly grateful for and then also his partner Peggy lit who is also a mentor of mine without them I wouldn’t have learned any of this and I would still be very very stuck in my life and very unhappy um but they taught me how to be happy and how I define happiness is it’s not a feeling it’s not an emotion it’s not gratitude it’s not even Joy or pleasure happiness is having a healthy (22:54) relationship with ourselves it’s feeling good about who we are on the inside and being on a pa e else in my life and so I was taught how to learn to feel good about who I am and and build my value internally so that I stopped looking for it outside of myself and my husband and in other people in my life or in my career and I found it in me and it was from that place that then I could actually have a healthy relationship with myself and my and with my husband and other people because I had that with me and so I teach the Journey of being happy is the solution to our (24:15) relationship is lks (24:50) about there’s no you know the goal isn’t to be happy I respect him very much and he has some incredible incredible perspectives that on and some things I agree with but I don’t agree with at all is that now I know he says that because he doesn’t understand happiness and that that’s okay that’s just been my journey and so I could start to see that there’s a lot of um people out there well intentioned and trying to help others who don’t understand happiness or don’t another thing I was solution really to all of our relationship is to be happy and feel good about who we are (25:53) to be building our own character and sense of Integrity not for others or who we think we’re supposed to be but as a journey of becoming the best version of ourselves and it’s through that that then everybody gets the benefit because we’re being the best version of ourselves and living in integrity and character so that’s that’s really the path I teach is the path of being happy and taking responsibi d our life and so that’s that’s a little bit about me and my message again thank you for being here I’m going to go through the the chat a little bit and just see if if there are (27:03) some of some questions um or comments that would be helpful uh to answer so the first one I see up here arch nemesis thank you is do you know Pearl Davis and I am I am familiar with pearl I actually just uh discovered her on YouTube just uh probably like four or five months ago she came across my feed and she wa se things so I’m very inspired by her um just directness and her groundedness and her beliefs and and she is obviously doing incredibly well and um I I respect her and and her channel is very inspiring uh to me so thank thank you for that question uh and just thank you (28:17) for all the encouraging comments and in the chat uh let’s see there’s another one I saw who and what uh snapped me out of my narcissism and that’s that’s a great great comment a really good way for us as women to understan wareness so it was my mentor uh that helped me to see and oh I because I had a facade I had a facade that I was I thought I’m so easy going and I’m so nice and what do you mean that that I have these issues and how dare you call me a narcissist um and so I had some resistance and pushback but I’m open-minded and I want to change and I want to be better (29:32) and I want to grow as a person so I I came around and I began to flash that light and that resistance and that defensiveness was actually a way out I think that’s a really really important I talked about this in a video earlier this week um that I did on why women need to be red pilled which to me is really just seen the truth of our reality and the truth of our behaviors and how we show up and relationships with Ben when we talk about the red pill for women and um now I forget where I was going with that I knew that was gonna happen um but uh yeah I’ll digress I forget (30:36) where I was going with that I’m not going to try to g n-minded I’ve worked with hundreds of women over the last decade and I’ve gotten some women reaching out to me from this channel uh the comments are a little fewer and far between from the women who are saying thank you and I needed to see this and and I want to learn and I want to change but they’re out there so it’s the women that won’t take my titles or captions as a personal attack on them are the ones that want to change their open-minded and they want to see themselves as the problem those ith me like oh I’m so mad at you like I just I hated your message and but something in (32:23) them they would share but something in me knew that if I was that angry and that triggered that there was truth in what you were saying so I just gave it some time and then I began to see myself and what you were talking about and it began to to open up for me so that that that’s the the women that I work with and that can hear me are the ones who are open-minded and they can either get it right away o ers for issues and problems it prevents us from having self-awareness because our focus is on the people and the things outside of us and our past and the circumstances of our life that (33:35) we point the finger at to explain our own limitations our own shortcomings our own um challenges and problems in life which makes it impossible for us to see our own choices and decisions and how we’ve created the very life that we have so in order to get out of those narcissistic Tendencies we have to be ed percent responsibility which actually uh gives us the freedom that we’ve been we’ve been seeking in our lives so I think that um that that that’s that’s a good place to stop uh I will I look forward to doing more live videos it’s really fun it’s a (34:54) new experience for me to have the chat up uh so I’m so grateful for those of you to who are are participating and chatting in the comments I’ll I’ll look through them uh later uh afterwards for sure because that’ll give us some good question if you haven’t already uh just so excited to be here happy to keep going and I’ll see you guys again very soon have a great weekend”</Transcript>