Husband replaced by Phone
That’s definitely not a part of the original
Biblical Marriage Covenant
4 Reasons most Wives Are Addicted to Their Phones
1. Distraction from Unhappiness: Phones provide an escape from dissatisfaction.
2. Desire for a Different Life: Social media fuels comparison and discontent.
3. Security Blanket: Phones provide a sense of control and reassurance.
4. Emotional Escape: Social media and texting offer an alternative reality.
No doubt: Marriage is Challenging.
Marriages, across the globe, are under attack–seemingly all the time.
When people are under attack: they learn to adapt–they develop escape plans, and coping mechanisms.
Thus the problem with the phone addiction. Overall its one of the less evil addictions, but it may be just as damaging to a marriage relationship as any other addiction.
Let’s see why …
Summary of “Has Your Wife Left You For Her Phone? | The Happy Wife School Show Ep. 47”
- Guest and Colleague Mentions (01:16 – 02:24)
- Introduces a guest who discusses the “traps” set for good men in marriages.
- Recommends colleague Jo’s channel, which focuses on alternative health and healing chronic illnesses.
- Growing Issue of Smartphone Addiction in Marriage (02:56 – 04:44)
- Highlights concerns from men about wives being addicted to their phones.
- Cites studies showing women spend more time on their phones than men, leading to disengagement in marriage.
- Smartphone Use as a Sign of Marital Disengagement (05:23 – 06:53)
- Argues that constant phone use signals a wife’s emotional disconnection from her husband.
- Warns men not to accept excuses, as excessive phone use reflects a lack of commitment.
- Five Reasons Why Wives Are Addicted to Their Phones (12:39 – 22:45)
- 1. Distraction from Unhappiness: Phones provide an escape from dissatisfaction.
- 2. Desire for a Different Life: Social media fuels comparison and discontent.
- 3. Security Blanket: Phones provide a sense of control and reassurance.
- 4. Emotional Escape: Social media and texting offer an alternative reality.
- 5. Parenting Avoidance: Many mothers disengage from their children using their phones.
- Impact on Husbands and Relationships (25:01 – 28:32)
- Phone addiction emasculates husbands, making them feel ignored and unimportant.
- Suggests that some women never fully considered the responsibilities of marriage and motherhood.
- Solution: Reconnect with Real Life (32:55 – 35:09)
- Encourages women to engage in hobbies and meaningful real-life activities.
- Suggests self-reflection and building a fulfilling life beyond the phone.
- How Husbands Can Set Boundaries (36:17 – 42:49)
- Advises men to set firm boundaries about phone use during quality time.
- Recommends calmly expressing concerns and following through with consequences if necessary.
- Final Thoughts and Audience Engagement (44:55 – 51:53)
- Mentions societal influences on women’s disengagement and self-perception.
- Responds to chat questions and comments, discussing parenting, personal growth, and future aspirations.
Title: “Has Your Wife Left You For Her Phone? | The Happy Wife School Show Ep. 47”
Transcript: “(00:00)
hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the happy wife School show Phil you are correct we had a how did you put it we had a launch delay I had to restart my computer so thank you guys so much for uh your patience I and and me being just a couple minutes late excited to get started today uh with our topic has your wife left you for her phone so before we get started and get into it today if you can let me know you can hear me see me everything’s coming through okay then I’ll kno w I’m not just talking into dead air uh it’s always an (00:40) interesting experience on this side of things uh but thank you all so much for joining me today uh before we get started I have a new talking points uh that I’m going to post to X and Rumble uh on Monday and so please check that out I’ll I’ll post some clips on the channel uh but it’s a great episode where it’s a I’m talking to with a gentleman who is just it was is was experiencing all the traps that we set for Good Men as women in our marriages so it’s a really great episode very much looking forward to releasing it so look (01:16) for that on Monday also like to head you guys over to my colleague’s channel uh Jo’s Channel escape the Alternative Health Matrix she is phenomenal uh and some of you are in her program um or have reached out to her and talked with her she supports and teaches people how to heal and outgrow chronic illness and autoimmune disorders she herself had eight autoimmune disorders and is fully healthy now uh for many years I want to say six or seven years now I could be off on that but Josie’s amazing some of you guys think she’s we she’s my sister (01:52) we’re not uh but we’re cut from the same cloth and and good friends and colleagues so please go uh support her Channel give it a like uh subscribe and if if you or someone you know needs that support she’s a wonderful person to reach out to and has incredible uh programs to support people in healing so with that being said uh no one more th ing thank you so much to Phil and Steve out there Steve good to have you back this week Evo is not able to be here today uh but Steve and Phil will be keeping things in check in the chat so (02:24) please make their job easy uh and follow the rules and let’s make this a productive place for people to be also a big thank you to the women who have been joining on Saturdays uh and and really contributing and learning and growing from the channel thank you so much uh for your support and for all of your support with that being said I’m just going to check that I am coming through all right and you guys can hear me coming through loud and clear thank you Phil so I will take a look at the chat uh after the live stream today but let’s (02:56) get into our topic has your wife left you for her phone uh so the reason I wanted to talk about this I’ve gotten uh quite a few people reaching out with questions for talking points uh the call and show the link to uh put a question in or want to be on a ir with me is in the description below and I’ve had a number of men reaching out talking about their wives are addicted to their phone always on their phone there’s a separate issue with this of how as women we use our phones and social media especially things like Instagram for attention or (03:31) even to connect with other men that’s a whole separate issue so someday I will do a live that specifically addresses that but today I I want to look at more just the normal always being on the phone D Doom scrolling uh texting with friends texting with family and just you know I saw one Reddit post where a man said uh his wife’s phone is like stapled glued and and taped to her hand uh I’ve I’ve had to to grow and learn through this uh experience and problem as well for the women listening You are not alone and also for the women listening (04:07) uh that are going to say things like but my husband’s always on his phone he’s the one that’s always on his phone uh I’m going to talk a little bi t about why that might be in the case of being married to a good man but I also found two interesting uh studies that I’ll just share real briefly uh where one study found that women spend 2 hours more two hours more each day on their phone than men and that was from the Journal of Behavioral addictions and then another uh study it was researched from the largest study of (04:44) smartphone use to date and this was in December of last year 2023 shows that across the board women report more probl ematic smartphone use than men and that came from the University of Toronto so it is established that we as women have a bigger issue with being on our phones and being addicted to our phones and in a little bit I’ll talk about why your husband might be on his phone a lot if he is a good man uh so we’ll we’ll touch on that but first here’s what I want the good men listening to realize this is very very (05:23) very important if you are married to a woman which is probably very likely who is glue d to her phone pH and always has her phone when you guys spend time together go on date night watch television or watch a movie She’s always on her phone and she’s never there and present with you it’s really important for you to realize that your wife has disassociated from you and is no longer committed or interested in you or the marriage it’s another way for good men to decipher what your wife what your wife’s woman ways are telling (06:09) you about the status of your relationship and marri age your wife constantly being on her phone is a clear indicator of the reality and state of the marriage that she has no sense of responsibility or accountability to the marriage and has checked out don’t be talk about this a little more and and where we’re going to go today which is five reasons why your wife is addicted to her phone but don’t let her Gaslight you into the Myriad of excuses that she has of why she’s always on her phone it is a clear indicator of the state of the (06:53) marria ge and relationship of how checked out that she is so as women we use our phones it’s kind of like the uh I was we were talking about this as a team yesterday as I was planning and preparing for today’s show and Josie was in on that meeting who I just mentioned at the beginning and she said the our phones are like the Berlin wall that we put up between ourselves and our husbands to check out disengage and to further push our husbands away constantly being on our phones is yet another form form o f emasculation making our husbands feel (07:34) unimportant neglected weak and small and blaming them for the issues and challenges in the relationship our own unhappiness in the relationship as to why we’re checked out or always on our phones and it lets our husbands know how little we care about them and how little we care to be connected present and engaged with them in our time with them and that emasculates our husbands to feel bad and wrong and that there’s nothing they can do that’s enoug h or right to make their wives happy and make their relationship a (08:20) healthy loving place for both people it’s really a a a giving up on our marriage constantly being on our phones so for the women like I said a few minutes ago who are thinking but it’s my husband it’s my husband uh that’s always on his phone cuz as women and men we can struggle with I mean with the addiction of of a smartphone and being on our phones but if your husband is always on his phone and he’s a good man and he’s on his phone while you guys are spending time together it is a reflection and a consequence of your own (09:02) behaviors and how you’ve treated your husband and have been there so we will complain that our husbands ignore us don’t give us enough attention are checked out and distant and as I teach and my message on the channel and how I support married women is to know your husband’s checked out disengaged and disconnected from the relationship because of how you have treat greeted him and push drop your walls and just show up kindly for yourself and allow your husband to get the benefit because if you try to do it for for him you’ll be resentful and burdened and you won’t be able to keep it up because (10:47) you’re doing it for the wrong reasons but if your character and integrity is important to you as a woman and you start showing up kind and dropping your walls with your husband and he’s a good man over time as he trusts you he will re-engage we have to go first as I often say th dard so where I would like to go with this today is five reasons why your wife is addicted to her phone and as I said earlier we’re really looking at just constantly scrolling being on social media texting with her friends the the issue of mail attention and getting validation and attention online (12:39) is a a separate issue so that’s not what I’m tackling today but again I will do a live on that soon five reasons why your wife is addicted to her phone number one I alluded to this in the setup ve to be doing something else so that’s why I’m on my phone it’s not to ignore or disconnect from you come on it’s so silly that so silly or uh the excuse that you know she’s just doing some work and she’s got to get some work done uh that’s a common excuse that I saw or you know my girlfriend’s really just having a tough time and I need to be there with her and that’s why we’re texting back and forth (14:26) don’t buy into the excuses she has of why she’s telling you she’s always on the phone s he might even tell you things like oh look at so and so they just did this new update or renovation to their house or look at so and so her husband took her on this trip and vacation and look how happy they are and and what they get to do which is another form of emasculating you of saying you haven’t provided a life to me and and look at all these things my friends or girlfriends get to experience and you don’t do that for me and that’s why I’m unhappy just a little side (16:31) note but we get can you can you be on Facebook and Instagram with your videos those platforms give me (18:08) a headache X can too a bit but not interested not interested so when we’re truly happy in ourselves we don’t need those Outlets to fill the emptiness within ourselves so that’s number two she wants a different life than the one she has number three of why your wife is addicted to her phone her phone is a security device number three your wife’s phone is a security device we need the interaction of the your wife needs to know what’s going on and where they are to give her a sense of security and safety in her life it’s the same reason she does it with you I’ve worked with an um what’s really (20:23) interesting to me through the men’s course I teach I’ve worked with a number of doctors and and in in highlevel positions that have very demanding jobs and they talk about their wives texting them all day long and then getting upset that they don’t respond which is so interesting to me I do not te ability to do that and the phone and the instant access to other people’s lives gossip and drama creates an altered reality that she can live in that doesn’t even actually exist it is an addiction to escaping and disconnecting from ourselves and disconnecting from our life as women we have created such a complicated internal (22:45) experience of ourselves and in our unhappiness in our not feeling good about ourselves the last thing that we want to do is to slow down and and be with ourselves or ee this all the time there’s a a park by our office building and I try to walk as much as I can after lunch and I walk by the park and the children are playing and the moms are just just there and always on their phone so and I i’ I’ve seen this in in comments or those men reaching out of their wives always on the phone when they’re taking care of the children and it’s crushing and very devastating to a man of why isn’t she engaged as a (25:01) mother and the purpose of being on the phone when t s like we (26:29) never take responsibility for our choice to be a wife and our our choice to get married and the responsibilities and roles that come with that it’s the same thing for women and and being a mom and having children they never thought it through never thought through what that would look like what that would entail the responsibilities that would come with that and the roles that would come with that the sacrifices that come with that and we don’t think it through it’s very much l bout in our society the struggles that women have to actually be good mothers we think that women are natural (28:32) mothers and my experience of working with with women who have children we are not natural mothers we are not natural at it so then we feel deeply inadequate overwhelmed and lost in our ability to be mothers and that is the overwhelming experience that I have in working with women and then they beat themselves up because they don’t know how to be a mom and if you think that they s er please tell me in the chat or in the comments which ones I missed and which ones you experience of why your wife is always on her phone love to hear that and that gives us more topics for the future uh and I look forward to to addressing the other issue (30:38) with the phone which is a bigger issue that will be a whole episode of of how we seek validation and attention especially from men online as married women so next p place I want to get into if I can get my my papers in order here is th ing that energy and emotion and putting it into something else other than your husband and the commitment and vow that you made to him the solution to stop and get out of this behavior and being addicted to your phone get a life get a life re-engage with the life you have and the life you’ve created and chosen with your husband and also reconnect with actual (32:55) interests and hobbies and in real life independent of the phone and technology and create a life you want to be in how I have done the life that I have and then of course there are things I work towards and the experiences I want to have and me and my husband want to have but knowing those things don’t make me happy it’s another way to build and create my life and to grow and learn through life which which is the Journey of being happy and in that you no longer want to disconnect from yourself and disconnect from your husband and disconnect from your life because in that you’re connected to yourself so again you just (35:09 and rebuild your own strength and confidence so that you can set constructive boundaries in the (36:17) relationship so I want to give you a simple solution and path although feels very difficult when you’ve been emasculated and weakened in your relationship and and in that you feel a lack of confidence so this can feel what I’m going to share very intimidating and very scary because you have to walk into the lion’s den or the Lioness Den with your wife and face the her scorn of how she will tre u all the things you’re doing wrong well you do this and you do that and she will pull you in to make you feel like you’re wrong you never should have brought this up and you’re a horrible person and a horrible husband for saying and giving a (38:26) consequence you don’t have to put it in that language just I don’t want to go out for a date night if you’re always going to be on your phone and then you have to follow through with the boundary you have to follow through so the next time you go ou ife’s always on her phone it’s reasonable say I’m not doing this anymore another example you’re watching movie or watching your a television show together and she’s on her phone the whole time let her know not in the moment separate from the moment hey last night when this happened I don’t enjoy watching movies with you I don’t enjoy watching TV when you’re constantly on (40:01) your phone so next time that happens I just want you to be aware I’m going to go uh watch a show on my own and where w responsibility and holding her accountable or driving I hear this a lot too you’re you’re driving somewhere and your wife’s just on the phone the whole time say hey I like this one it made me laugh then hey if you’re going to be on the phone the whole time when we’re driving somewhere I’m going to start having you drive and have her drive the key part is you have to follow through you have to do this in a loving caring way not to retaliate back but to actually fight and rock the boat in your ma uh so thanks for your patience as I get set up here all right so I’ll have that up and then just head over to the chat for a (42:49) moment Luke thank you so much for always being here every week Memphis BBQ oh my gosh the chat just going going going Jojo I saw your pop up uh Ben thank you so much um it’s just going going going waiting for it to uh waiting for it to stop Lots going on in the chat today all right oh my goodness there we go you are welcome Luke I just saw your comment thanks Kare C Irving I share uh Karen’s videos with men and women here in Germany they need to hear this awesome I appreciate that totally side note uh Josie my colleague and and good friend uh introduced me to a comedian I think her name is Laura ramoso something (44:55) like that but she does these imitations of her parents her dad’s Italian and her mom uh is German and she does you know when my German mother does this and she does these impersonations and they are they are so funny so that reminded me o n that we put ourselves under in life through our victim stories and then we project that hate onto men that they are our oppressor because we don’t want to take accountability and responsibility for how we keep ourselves small in our lives and all the things we do to not like ourselves and we are enabled by society and in just in our human nature project that hatred out onto men so whether (46:49) women hate men or really don’t like them I believe that those two things are true and that it stem eir mother do this uh my kids have been U yeah I’m so sorry taken away from from me and my 12-year-old is on her iPad so FL in the morning H yeah I’m so sorry for that and unfortunately and sadly very very common um well it has the effect of a kid’s feeling unimportant and unloved uh by their mother and then as as kids kids we we uh we how do I want to put this um reflect the behaviors of our parents and so you know I’ll hear we been talking about my kids so disrespectful or my kids totally disc challenges and struggles that we had in our upbringings and with our parents as what it needed to be for us to become who we need to be in our (50:01) lives so while yes you’re a woman’s disconnection and disengagement certainly has an impact on her children uh that the children as they grow up and become older don’t have to be victims to that experience because then we just use that as an excuse in our lives as why we are where we are and why we can’t get ahead or become who who we want to be s I’ll pop back over to the chat and thank you Phil for sending those over to me and sending sending me some great uh great questions uh from the chat all right so yeah cool oh somebody said something I just saw a comment that reminded me of this a (51:53) few weeks ago I had talked about um how uh you know my goal and dream is to be able to travel and because they you know somebody asked well you come to a different country and I said I I want to eventually be able to to travel and give talks and e going to get out and go do some fun things as well uh and just thank you for being here with me today and supporting the channel uh very excited about its growth and continuing to go and and reach more people so I look forward to seeing you guys again next Saturday day okay bye”