What does Respect
Mean to a Man?
What RESPECT Means to A Man – YouTube. (6 minutes 20 seconds)
Summary
This transcript discusses the importance of respect in marriage from a female perspective.
The speaker, who runs a channel called “Happy Wife School,” argues that many women treat their husbands disrespectfully, viewing them as disposable and failing to value them as human beings.
This lack of respect, she claims, leads to marital problems and is reflected in the husband’s behavior.
The speaker advocates for self-awareness and change in women’s behavior as the key to improving their marriages, asserting that respecting one’s husband first will lead to positive changes in the relationship.
The concept of “red pill” is used to represent the realization of one’s own destructive behaviors.
Highlights
- Lack of Respect: Women often treat their husbands disrespectfully, viewing them as servants rather than equal partners.
- Self-Centeredness: The speaker identifies self-centeredness, selfishness, and manipulation as destructive behaviors in wives that damage the marriage.
- The “Red Pill”: The “red pill” represents the moment of self-awareness regarding these negative behaviors, enabling women to change.
- Reciprocity of Respect: The speaker believes a husband’s lack of respect is often a reflection of his wife’s treatment of him.
- Transformation through Change: The core message is that changing one’s own behavior, starting with showing respect, can dramatically improve the marriage.
The Importance of Respect in Marriage 00:00
“Respect is valuing a person as a human being; it’s very basic and fundamental.”
- Respect is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, and it is crucial for men, especially husbands, to feel valued. When women fail to respect their husbands, they often end up treating them as if they are disposable, focusing solely on what the husbands can do for them rather than valuing their presence and contributions.
- A lack of self-happiness exacerbates this issue, resulting in many women engaging in nagging, criticizing, and judging their partners. Such behaviors reflect a deeper issue where the husband’s feelings and dreams are disregarded.
- When husbands are treated as disposable, it leads to a lack of compassion and empathy in the relationship. It’s important to recognize that disregarding a husband’s humanity can lead to emotional turmoil and disconnection within the marriage.
Self-Awareness and Behavior Change 02:22
“The red pill is recognizing that we don’t respect our husbands and we treat them as if they are disposable.”
- Developing self-awareness about one’s attitude and behaviors towards a spouse can lead to a transformational shift in the relationship. By acknowledging tendencies to be self-centered or manipulative, individuals can begin to make constructive changes.
- It is vital to reflect on how one’s actions may diminish a husband’s sense of respect and value. This self-reflection can illuminate the reasons behind a husband’s withdrawal or lack of involvement in the relationship.
- Recognizing how you have treated your partner is the first step toward change. Women can start to transform their marriages positively by taking accountability for their behaviors and fostering respect and kindness.
The Impact of Change on Relationships 05:48
“When you change these things within yourself, and you begin to respect your husband, he will go above and beyond for you.”
- Positive changes in behavior can lead to significant improvements in marital dynamics. When respect is restored in the relationship, husbands often respond with greater affection and commitment, willing to go to great lengths for their partners.
- The relationship’s health is closely linked to how each partner communicates and values the other. Acknowledging and treating a husband with basic decency transforms the emotional landscape of the marriage.
- It is essential to remember that how one treats a spouse can influence their emotional engagement. If a partner feels unsupported or disrespected, it can lead to feelings of disengagement and lack of connection.
Transcript:
(00:00) … And respect being one of the most important things to a good man in a relationship, which as women we give no respect to our husbands we treat our husbands as they are disposable we treat our husbands that they are there to serve us and what can they do for us and they can never make us happy when we are not happy in ourselves. (00:26)
So we spend our relationships nagging, nitpicking, criticizing, judging, shaming our husbands, and treating them as they are disposable.
Respect is valuing a person as a human being.
Respect in your marriage ladies is valuing your husband as a human being. It’s very basic. It’s the fundamentals. (00:58)
You want to treat your husband like you value who he is. W
When we treat our husbands like they are disposable, that they are there to serve us in our needs; we do not even give them the basic decency of treating them like a human being.
- We disregard their feelings.
- We disregard their dreams. (01:25)
- We disregard who they are just as a human being.
- We have no room for compassion.
- No room for empathy.
- No room for acceptance and approval of just who they are.
- And, we become very disrespectful in our marriages, and very disrespectful in our relationships with men, and that’s part of of the red pill.
I call my channel the Happy Wife School— the red pill for women. (01:53)
To me the red pill is:
- Being exposed as women to our destructive nature of …
- being self-centered
- selfish and manipulative
… When we can be redpilled to see that truth of who we are as women;
How we treat our husbands
How we treat men …
- It allows us to develop the self-awareness of these behaviors of our (02:21) our own critical nature.
- It allows us to develop the self-awareness of the ways that we emasculate and shame.
- It allows us to develop the self-awareness of the ways that we are controlling
- It allows us to develop the self-awareness to see how we are deceitful.
- It allows us to develop the self-awareness to see: The ways we are are highly manipulative of men.
We can see that in ourselves, which is what happened for me in my marriage, and then we have the self-awareness to (02:42) actually work on those things, and to change.
So the red pill today is recognizing that we don’t respect our husbands.
We don’t treat them as human beings.
We treat them as if they are disposable.
And when we treat our husbands as disposable and we don’t give them the basic decency to Value who they are as (03:03) human beings, that’s where then, we treat them very poorly.
That is where we are emasculating.
It’s where we are highly emotional in the relationship.
We are hot and cold in the relationship.
We’re unpredictable.
Your husband is terrified of who he’s going to get when he comes home from work or when you come home (03:30) from work.
That’s something my husband shared with me (and I’ve talked about in other videos).
We have no Integrity:
-
- to follow through, and keep our word:
- to be who we say we’re going to be.
- to make the changes we say we are going to make
- and we have no consistency in who we are
- and how we show up
And then as women we (03:48) wonder why is our marriage the way that it is.
Why is my husband withdrawn?
Why has he checked out of the relationship?
Why does he not do the thing do things around the house anymore?
Why is does he ignore me?
Many women listening will think:
-
- well my husband doesn’t respect me
- he doesn’t value me
- he doesn’t show me respect
I (04:16) know what you’re thinking: I’ve heard it all.
You have to wonder which came first: the chicken or the egg?
Did your husband just stop Respecting you out of nowhere?
Which I can guarantee you is not in a good man’s nature.
A good man’s nature is that he wants to love and adore and respect his wife.
So I have to think: “ if he just stopped respecting me out of nowhere, then that’s a reflection of me.” (04:37)
That’s a reflection of you:
If you feel your husband doesn’t respect you: and you’re married to a good man:
-
- Is how have I shown up:
–Is that what has created that lack of respect in the relationship?
- Is how have I shown up:
That’s a good thing [to finally realize], because if your husband doesn’t treat you with respect, and you’re married with a good man: (05:01)
I guarantee you— it means that is:
— a reflection of you not showing him respect.
— and not giving him the basic decency to treat him like a human being
— and value him for who he is as a human being
— and respect in a marriage for a man is fundamental
So my channel, and my message, for women is about: (05:23)
—What do we have control over to change in ourselves?
— that then has a transformational impact
— and effect on our marriage and relationship?
—Because the fundamental truth is the only person we have any control over to change:
— Is ourselves
I am living proof: and the hundreds of women that I’ve worked with
over the last eight or nine years are living proof: (05:46)
“That when you are married to a good man,
and you change these things within yourself,
and you begin to respect your husband,
and treat him with the decency of being a human being,
he will go above and beyond,
he will slay dragons for you all day,
he will lay the moon and stars at your feet. (06:05)
But we have to go first.
— WHY?
— Because how you feel your husband is checked out,
— that the man you married disappeared,
—That is just a reflection of how you’ve been treating him in the marriage.
Below message is separate from the happy wife school:
Respect is like the life blood of a man’s soul.
Respect is the life giving force that the Creator designed the man to run on.
Respect is the God-given fuel a man needs to achieve his God-given work.
Removing respect from the man, is like removing his perfectly good liver and kidneys, and expecting you to thank him for it.
Disrespecting a man (in a respect based relationship) is like asking him to carry you up a along and steep Hill, with one leg blown off by a hidden IED (Improvised Explosive Device, or hidden Roadside bomb, planted by you). Then saying, “I’m sorry you got hurt.”
After applying a makeshift tourniquet halfway up the thigh that is bleeding profusely: You demand that he carry you on his back to the nearest bus station, because you sprained your ankle,and you have to get to your yoga class.
Only worse than that. After stumbling, trying to carry you and all your extra weight and baggage, your shame him for not performing up to your standards and expectations.
That’s actually how some men feel and are treated in relationships that should be based on Respect, but actually based on something else: A hidden agenda.
And yes, that hidden agenda is based on a plan of destruction.
And yes, that agenda is revealed in the word of God: See for yourself …