The Hidden Damage of Emasculation
How does it affect your marriage?
An Excerpt:
“Welcome. I’m Danielle Hage … So I have a question for you today, because: This brought up something in me: THAT made me Cringe.
Here’s something a person posted on Facebook. It made me cringe because I’ve done this before too.
I saw a friend post a picture of flowers that she got from her husband.
She said: Oh, look at what my husband brought to me for my anniversary! And she posted a picture of the flowers (maybe from the grocery store).
So she got all these comments like: “Oh, happy anniversary!” “How thoughtful! ”
“That’s so nice of him!”
But she got back in the comments and said: “No! They’re in a cup. These are ugly! They’re not even my favorite flowers! Why would he bring these to me?!!
Well so me, being Nosy Nelly, you know: I kept following the comments, because I want to see how this thread develops.
Because again it’s bringing up something in me.
The husband jumps in, because he saw the post and comments.
He said: “Well … they were in a vase. The cat knocked over the vase, and broke it.”
“So I put them in a cup. So they wouldn’t die by the time you got home. Oh my gosh, and they were what was fresh. And they didn’t have the, you know, the ranoculas or whatever that you actually like, but these are what I got, because I wanted you to know, that I remembered our anniversary.”
Then he said something about: it’s the thought that counts.
Then she jumped back in and she said:
“Well you need another thought. You need to think about this a little bit more … !”
Oh my goodness, it was just unrelenting. This may be extreme, but this actually happened.
And again, it just brought up something to me: Because I know I’ve done that before.
I know my husband has done something nice for me, brought me something nice home.
But it’s like: That wasn’t enough! Right? “You know that’s not what I expected!”
Below is a general open honest discussion between a mother and daughter-in-law about how our culture genuinely emasculates men, and how that factors into our marriages, in regard to how women treat their men, and how that treatment can damage, not only the man’s ability to navigate the marriage, but can eventually lead to: low confidence, low performance issues, lack of direction, anger issues, depression, confusion, pornography, adultery, and ultimately divorce.
The problem here on the men’s side is this: They aren’t sophisticated. They don’t dig into all the strategies used against them to break them down, in order to gain control over them. All they know is that their wife isn’t happy, and she is making sure that the man knows that it is his fault, that she is not happy, like the example in the excerpt above.
But even the most unsophisticated man, can tell intuitively that they are being “side blinded”, and that’s not right. He knows he is being disrespected, dishonored, devalued, and continously rejected. And he knows no loving wife would rightfully behave that way. Therefore, He gets angry.
But then, why trying to address the anger and pain rising up in him, he gets gaslighted. He gets blamed for being toxic: narcissistic, misogynistic, white supremacist, racist and the works.
The end product is almost a guarantee.
Hidden Damage – Understanding the Effects of Emasculation
Psychological Impact
Emasculation triggers immediate emotional reactions of rage or passivity in men, diminishing their capacity to lead, act, communicate, and even think creatively.
Men who feel emasculated become more vulnerable to pornography and adultery, seeking validation from others, especially younger women who admire them.
Emasculated men often become passive to avoid conflicts, feeling they’ll be wrong or rejected, leading to communication breakdowns in relationships–“So What’s the Use?!!”.
Relationship Dynamics
Women’s emasculating behavior, like public shaming or criticism, can make men feel powerless and vulnerable, causing them to fear women rather than protect them.
Secure women can empower men by letting them solve problems and “win” in certain situations, fostering stronger relationships.
Emasculation creates a cycle where men become competitive with women rather than cherishing them, constantly trying to prove themselves.
Long-Term Effects
Emasculation has long-term consequences, causing men to treat women with disdain instead of respect and feel unappreciated for their efforts.
Emasculated men are more likely to protect themselves rather than their partners, leading to a lack of intimacy and connection in relationships.
Breaking the Cycle
Women can break the emasculation cycle by appreciating small acts their partners do, like taking out garbage or mowing the lawn.
Building healthier relationships requires women to trust their partners’ ability to lead and provide, even if it takes longer than expected.
Women’s Perspective
When women recognize their emasculating ways, and begin to take responsibility for them, and seek to repair the damage done by them, they can become the most valuable partner to a good man, and as such, they can bring out the most beautiful, glorious, and rewarding aspects bottled up in the man they married.
When women realize that the planting of the seeds of emasculation in the marriage, is a short and fast way to destroy a man, and most likely the marriage, such a woman has a choice to make:
1) to become the heaven bound and godly empowered woman of respect, that builds up her man, and becomes the godly help mate that God intended her to be: or,
2) to become the Hellbound woman of destruction, the destruction of the man, and of the marriage, and of the faith they vowed to share together until death: Do they part. Thus fulfilling the plan of the enemy that whispered into the ear of Eve saying: Did God really say?
Expressing gratitude and appreciation for small acts helps men feel valued, leading to stronger and more loving relationships.
He loses the capacity to lead, to act, to communicate, to think creatively.
Can you see the cause in the example?
But she got back in the comments and said: “No! They’re in a cup. These are ugly! They’re not even my favorite flowers! Why would he bring these to me?!!
Then she jumped back in and she said:
“Well you need another thought. You need to think about this a little bit more!”
Can you see the problem above?
Can you see the solution to the problem?
Understanding Emasculation
Q: What is emasculation and how does it affect men?
A: Emasculation occurs when a woman’s self-esteem is hurt by a man’s perceived misbehavior, overtime and emasculation and a marriage leads to a loss of power in the man, causing him to lose capacity to lead, act, communicate, and even think creatively.
Q: What are the immediate effects of emasculation on men?
A: Immediate effects include rage, passivity, and defensiveness, as men feel attacked and shut down, they experience a sudden loss of power and desire to defend themselves.
Long-Term Consequences
Q: What are the long-term effects of emasculation?
A: Long-term effects include men becoming vulnerable to pornography and adultery, seeking admiration and validation from others, especially younger women who look up to them.
Q: How does emasculation create a cycle of negative behavior?
A: Emasculation causes men to feel insecure, defensive, and disconnected, leading to a cycle of fear, criticism, and disconnection that can result in rage, passivity, addiction, or infidelity.
Recognizing and Preventing Emasculation
Q: What behaviors in women can lead to emasculation?
A: Emasculating behaviors include: rejecting men, for being men, including all behaviors of disrespect, and anything that would bring dishonor upon the man or the marriage, including gossip, backbiting, exaggeration, one sided storytelling, speaking secretively, and negatively, revealing the false or shortcomings of the husband, as well as, publicly shaming, nagging, verbal or theatrical putdowns, or critically calling out men, causing them to feel embarrassed and ashamed, leading to a loss of self-worth.
Q: How can women become aware of their emasculating behavior?
A: Awareness is the first step in changing behavior, allowing women to recognize and stop themselves from emasculating men, leading to better relationships and responses.
Building Healthy Relationships
Q: How can secure women empower men in relationships?
A: Confident women can let men take the lead and come up with solutions, rather than trying to fix everything themselves, allowing men to feel empowered and respected.
Q: How can small gestures be appreciated to strengthen relationships?
A: Appreciate small gestures like taking out garbage or mowing lawn as gifts, not obligations, to build trust, encourage men to do more, and make them feel cherished and appreciated.
Effective Communication
Q: How should women communicate with men to avoid emasculation?
A: Stop criticizing and emasculating men, instead appreciate and celebrate their efforts, even if not perfect, to build trust and strengthen relationships.
Q: What is the underlying motivation for men in relationships?
A: Men are designed to be protectors, providers, and rescuers, wanting to make women happy and meet their needs, but require appreciation and celebration of their efforts.
Breaking the Cycle
Q: How can the cycle of emasculation be broken?
A: Break the cycle by appreciating and celebrating men’s efforts, even if not perfect, to build trust and strengthen relationships.
Q: What is the key to building stronger, healthier relationships with men?
A: Appreciate and celebrate men’s efforts, including small gestures, to build trust, strengthen relationships, and break the cycle of emasculation.