Sex In Marriage
Part 2—Sex is Mandatory
By Definition, What is a marriage?
“Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? [Cleaving is Sex, that’s what makes them One.] 6 Wherefore they are no more twain [two], but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
The difference between a marriage relationship and all other relationships is that: “they twain shall be one flesh.”
A godly marriage is a sacred sexual covenant between a man and his wife. That is the very root of the relationship.
That is not by man’s design. That is God’s Design.
“If you ask an honest good man: What are the top three things that are most important to him in a marriage relationship? Sex is going to be number one, or maybe two in the top three.”
“If you ask a woman: What are your top 10 most important things to you in a marriage relationship? Sex might not even make the list. Or it might be like number eight, nine, or 10.”
–Karyn Seitz
In many modern marriages, sex has become a tool of manipulation and control. It is used for shaming, manipulating, blaming, dehumanizing, and emasculating. Needless to say none of these behaviors are a part of God’s design.
The word of God is very clear. When followed it creates great freedom and blessing. When rejected, people suffer, needlessly.
The question then becomes again: How badly do you want to impart God’s fullest blessing upon your own life, and the life of your one and only soulmate?
How much blessing, favor, honor, joy, happiness,
fullness of gratitude, can you pack into every single day
that the Lord himself has given you breath and strength?
Isn’t that a much better question than:
How can I control and manipulate,
and make miserable the life
of my friend and
life partner?
1 Corinthians 7:1-7 (KJV) 1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
So how important is sex in a marriage?
- (00:00 – 00:44): The speaker emphasizes that sex is crucial for men to feel loved and respected in a marriage. For most men, it’s among the top three priorities, whereas for women, it may rank much lower or not even make the list.
- (00:44 – 01:24): Women are acknowledged to sometimes use sex as a tool for manipulation or control, leading to the misconception that men are wrong for valuing sex highly. The speaker stresses that marriage involves a commitment to a sexual relationship as part of a healthy partnership.
- (01:24 – 02:13): Sex is presented as non-optional in a marriage. It is portrayed as a fundamental aspect of a healthy relationship, not merely an obligation. The speaker reflects on her own challenges with intimacy early in her marriage.
- (02:13 – 02:54): The speaker shares her personal journey of building emotional walls around sex and the difficulties it caused. She realized that approaching sex as a chore or duty led to resentment and negatively impacted her marriage.
- (02:54 – 03:35): Having sex out of obligation is described as damaging to the relationship, causing emotional shutdown and cruelty towards the husband’s emotional needs. A healthy marriage requires genuine emotional engagement in intimacy.
- (03:35 – 04:22): The speaker highlights the importance of consistent, meaningful sexual connection in maintaining a healthy marriage. Merely going through the motions or avoiding sex can lead to relational issues.
- (04:22 – 05:00): She urges women to reconnect with the enjoyment of sex, recalling the excitement and passion often felt at the beginning of relationships, before emotional walls were built.
- (05:00 – 05:31): The speaker plans to address societal myths about women’s sexuality, challenging common beliefs about women needing to be “warmed up” and other misconceptions.
- (05:31 – 06:08): She shares her personal growth and healing journey in her marriage, emphasizing the importance of overcoming negative narratives around sex.
- (06:08 – 07:14): The speaker concludes that sex should be enjoyed by women for themselves, not merely as an obligation for their husbands. A mutually fulfilling sex life contributes to a healthy marriage and emotional connectionHere’s the timeline:
Gaslighting | ˈɡasˌlīdiNG | noun
- The practice of psychologically manipulating someone into questioning their own sanity, memory, or powers of reasoning
- He said he was the victim of gaslighting
- Gaslighting is an insidious technique of deception and psychological manipulation. origin 1960s: see gaslight (verb). (Source: Apple Dictionary)
The term originates in the 1938 British play Gas Light by Patrick Hamilton. The play was adapted into a 1940 film in the UK, Gaslight, which was remade as in the US as the 1944 film Gaslight.[6][7][8] Set among London’s elite during the Victorian era, Gas Light and its adaptations portray a seemingly genteel husband using lies and manipulation to isolate his heiress wife and persuade her that she is mentally ill so that he can steal from her.[9]. (Source: Wikipedia.com)