25 Ways Men & Women
Destroy their homes
#1 Problem:
Contempt is the number predictable disease
that will destroy a marriage relationship.
This clip may not be authentic. (I have my doubts.) But the message it speaks is not that far off the mark, and is very close to addressing a problem often neglected and overlooked.
Proverbs 14:1-2 (KJV)
Every wise [man and] woman buildeth her [his] house:
but the foolish plucketh it down with her [his] hands.
He that walketh in his uprightness feareth the LORD:
but he that is perverse in his ways despiseth him.
Whether we like to face the Truth or Not: There is a horrifically skilled enemy that has planned to destroy every marriage that has planned to honor God throughout history. The enemy’s plan of attack is manifold. Some attacks are bold and aggressive, thereby easier to spot. But, some attacks are subtle and subversive and thereby hardly visible by the untrained eye.
The reality is, “The ATTACK” is going to hit us: whether we see the attack coming or not. Whether we have prepared for it, or not. And because the majority of the population has refused to train themselves from seeing all of life from God’s perspective, they will have an untrained eye. Therefore, the majority of the population will be blindsided by the attack when it does come. In the vernacular, they won’t know what hit them.
Proverbs 27:15-16 (NIV)A quarrelsome wife:[a person with the spirit of Contempt, with a contentious/contemptible spirit]:Is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm;Restraining her [or him] is like restraining the wind
or grasping oil with the hand.
contempt | kənˈtem(p)t | noun
Definition:
- The feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn: he showed his contempt for his job by doing it very badly.
- To consider (someone or something) to be unworthy of respect or attention.
Once the spirit of contempt enters into a relationship and gains a foothold, it appears that there is very little that can be done to remove it, that is if the owner of the Spirit of Contempt, does not want that spirit to be removed from their life, the relationships, and yes, their marriage. But unless a spirit of Repentance, Contrition, Humility, and Grace replace the Spirit of Contempt: It’s not going anywhere.
Why is that? Because a contemptible spirit fools its victims into believing they are smarter than those around them, hence they look down on them, even carry feelings of scorn, scoffing and mocking in their mind towards others unworthy of their respect and attention.
The only Hope is a Miracle of Intervention: through Conviction, and a Revelation of the problem, and the desire to be set free from the foul spirit that is destroying them, their marriage, their family, and their Testimony and relationships in the Kingdom of God.
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The spirit of contempt comes with barbs that subtly inject poison into every area of the relationship.
The Enemy knows the weak and fragile points of attack in both men and women.
- In Men, the achilles heal is being dishonored, disrespected, and unappreciated.
- In Women, the the Achilles heel is being unloved, not cherished or nourish nurtured in the emotional sense.
But God knew this ahead of time that’s why he carefully penned these words:
Ephesians 5:22-33 (KJV)
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
So here lies the conundrum:
- it’s hard for the wife to submit to someone who is perceived as not loving.
- And it is equally hard to give and build emotional, affectionate connection with someone who disrespects, dishonors, and refuses to submit to the husband’s authority.
Without these two roles working in unison, that ship is not sailing anywhere. It is dead in the water, and decaying at its mooring. Such a relationship is destined for disaster: spiritually, physically, emotionally, and financially.
Women today are especially vulnerable to the Spirit of Feminism that is like the spirit of Jezebel of old, seeking to control and gain power through the husband’s authority, but it wants to subvert it, and corrupt it–as it did back then, so it is doing today. “There is nothing new under the sun.”
The Man’s God Given Role in the Home is under supreme attack: Sadly, both men and women play into the attack. They both shoot arrows at the authority God has give them to defeat their enemy.
Instead of circling the wagons and shooting their flaming arrows outside the family circle, in order to hit the real enemy. Couples (and all members in a family) can point their arrows at one another.
It won’t be long, before they sink their own ship, and watch it burn down, right where it sits upon the water in the middle of the harbor, surrounded by a vast number other ships, that also will be burning soon.
In order for a man to energize all the best parts of him in a relationship (especially the parts that don’t come naturally to him), he needs the spirit of honor, and respect to be the fuel heart and soul, that gives him both the strength and the reason, to slay the dragons coming against him and his family. The Spirit of Honor is like Popeye’s Spinach. It activates those desires to cherish, nurture and be affectionate.
But as soon, Medusa’s ugly head of snakes rises up, with dishonor, disrespect, and a spirit to undermine his God given authority, and subvert it away from God: Then the end is inevitable. And the enemy wins.
Speaking from the Man’s Point of View without that Spirit of Honor in the relationship, the man’s battery of affection is going to run dry pretty quickly (in the natural sense)–especially when the wife cuts off the physical bond and connection (rejecting God’s commandment). That will pretty much kill the intimacy in the relationship. And it is only a matter of time before it crashes and burns on the Great Barrier Reef of Rejection. That Spirit of Rejection will burn the candle at both ends.
Pretty soon both contestants in this fight, will begin to feel like they are pouring their efforts, into the great abyss, with no return on investment. Like pouring one’s money into a dark black hole in the universe, and it is sucking the life out of you, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and yes, I already said it: Financially..
…
Trying to love, or even just hug, a person with contempt, is like trying to give a bear hug to a porcupine. The porcupine won’t like it at all, and the bear will be filled with toxic quills. The truth be told, you can’t fix this problem with repeated attempts for obvious reasons. The reruns will not be an improvement.
Until one individual, or both individuals, choose to remove the contemptuous spirit out of their heart, mind, soul, and spirit—there is no fixing that relationship. It is doomed to failure.
That’s not just my opinion: That just happens to coincide with Gottman’s Research
Research by Dr. John Gottman,
a renowned relationship expert, suggests that contempt is the single most significant predictor of divorce.
Gottman’s Research Findings:
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Contempt is a stronger predictor of divorce than anger or criticism.
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Couples who express contempt are 3.5 times more likely to divorce.
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Contempt can predict divorce with 90% accuracy.
Effects of Contempt on Relationships:
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Erodes trust and intimacy
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Creates defensiveness and hostility
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Increases conflict and criticism
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Decreases emotional connection and empathy
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Leads to emotional disengagement
Types of Contempt:
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Sarcasm
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Eye-rolling
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Mocking
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Condescension
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Disrespectful tone
Consequences on Quality of Life:
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Increased stress and anxiety
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Decreased emotional well-being
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Reduced relationship satisfaction
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Negative impact on physical health
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Decreased overall happiness
Predicting Longevity:
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High levels of contempt: Relationship likely to end within 5-7 years
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Moderate levels: Relationship may last 10-15 years, but quality of life suffers
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Low levels: Relationship can thrive, but efforts to manage conflicts are crucial
Reversing Contempt:
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Practice empathy and active listening
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Address conflicts constructively
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Foster respect and appreciation
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Cultivate a culture of gratitude
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Seek couples therapy
While contempt is a significant predictor, it’s not the sole determining factor. Relationships can recover with effort and commitment.
Would you like more information on reversing contempt or improving relationship quality?
Messages are generated by AI and may be inaccurate or inappropriate.
What are the biblical ways of women can destroy her home?
The Bible provides wisdom on how a woman can potentially destroy her home, primarily through the book of Proverbs. Here are some biblical ways:
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Lack of discretion and gossip (Proverbs 11:22, 26:20-22): A woman’s careless words can damage relationships and destroy trust.
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Idleness and laziness (Proverbs 31:27, 24:30-34): Neglecting responsibilities and being idle can lead to chaos and disarray.
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Infidelity and immorality (Proverbs 2:16-19, 5:3-6, 7:1-27): Unfaithfulness can shatter trust and destroy relationships.
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Lack of self-control and anger (Proverbs 21:9, 19, 25:24): Unmanaged anger and emotions can create conflict.
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Dishonesty and deceit (Proverbs 11:1, 12:17): Lying and dishonesty can erode trust.
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Nagging and contentiousness (Proverbs 21:9, 19, 27:15-16): Constant criticism and arguments can create tension.
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Lack of respect and submission (Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 Peter 3:1-2): Disregarding biblical principles of submission can harm relationships.
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Enabling or ignoring sin (Proverbs 28:13, 1 Samuel 3:13): Failing to address sin can allow destructive behaviors.
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Financial irresponsibility (Proverbs 31:16, 27-28): Unwise financial decisions can strain relationships.
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Prioritizing worldly desires over family (1 Timothy 5:6, Proverbs 31:10-31): Neglecting family responsibilities for personal interests can harm relationships.
It’s essential to note that these principles apply to both men and women, and the Bible emphasizes mutual respect, love, and responsibility in building a strong home.
Would you like me to expand on any of these points or provide additional biblical context?