The Top 5 Reasons Your Wife
Has No Interest In Sex (The REAL Story)
Talk about shooting ourselves in the foot!!!
How crazy is that? Why not just cut off our arm?
- Why not just take sickness pills that are designed to make you sicker and sicker and sicker, until you die prematurely?!!
- Why not just whip yourself daily any time you begin to hope there is any healthy pleasure in this life?
- Who thinks up these torture chamber traps and schemes and mental delusions?
I can tell you who doesn’t.
- God doesn’t
- Healthy men don’t
- Healthly women don’t
- Healthy families and communities don’t
In fact, they do just the opposite. They prepare for and ultimately protect, preserve, and then flourish in one of the greatest, most holy, most sacred, most life giving, most pleasure making, and most loving and healthy gifts one man can give to one woman, and visa versa.
I can tell you the number one enemy of a godly, heavenly, healthy, holy, sacred, life giving, life long, healing and humbly serving full venue grace filled sexual relationship …
He is the same person, who is the number demon, who perverts and destroys every precious and holy gift of God.
Satan is just one of his evil names, whom Jesus identifies as:
- The Father of Lies (John 8:44; John 10:10)
- The Thief (John 10:10; John 8:44)
- The Murderer (John 10:10)
- The Destroyer (John 10:10)
- The Accuser. (Revelation 12:10
- The Tempter (Matthew 4:3; 1 Thessalonians 3:5)
- The god of this Age (2 Corinthians 4:4)
“The god of this Age” is precisely the one behind all the confusion, all the frustration, all the scarring, and wounding, all the bleeding and sickness: Mentally, Emotionally, Physically, and Spiritually.
God would not want us to suffer needlessly, and to cause the suffering of our marriage partner without reason, or wisdom: It is not his will that we should be ignorant.
8a For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant …
[then Paul goes on to describe the struggle he has been facing in persectution from the gentiles–but here is a little twist of a perspective, what if we are feeling, and actually being persecuted by our own spouses (howbeit, unwittingly), would it not, or has it not felt much like what Paul goes on to describe ….]
For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant …
…. of our trouble which came to us in Asia,
that we were pressed out of measure,
above (our) strength,
insomuch that we despaired even of life:
9 But we had the sentence of death in ourselves,
that we should not trust in ourselves,
but in God which raiseth the dead:
Now let’s see what the messed up world has done
to us to rob us of our most sacred and precious gift?
And let us see if we can restore our gift, our honor,
Our Grace & Truth,
Our Peace & Joy,
Our Love & Blessing …
Even as we seek to be a blessing to one another.
Summary of “The Top 5 Reasons Your Wife Has No Interest in Sex (The REAL Story)”
1—(00:00-00:39) First reason: Feeling like giving a piece of oneself away. Women feel disconnected from themselves, drained, and empty due to putting everyone else first, making it hard to give to their husbands.
- (00:39-01:57) Women often neglect self-care, leading to exhaustion and a sense of being “unfulfilled,” which results in withdrawing from sex because they feel they have nothing left to give.
2—(01:57-03:13) Second reason: Self-punishment. Women who feel insecure or bad about themselves may avoid pleasurable experiences like sex as a form of self-punishment, believing they don’t deserve it due to comparison or self-criticism.
3—(03:13-04:43) Third reason: Need for control. As women grow older, they may become more rigid and fear losing control. Sex, being a spontaneous and physical experience, threatens that control, leading to resistance to intimacy.
4—(04:43-06:02) Fourth reason: Never learning to enjoy sex for themselves. Many women engage in sex for others, not themselves. They may focus on what their partner wants or societal expectations, not understanding their own desires, leaving them disconnected from their own sexual pleasure.
- (06:02-08:27) Women often buy into myths about sex, such as needing extensive foreplay or specific techniques, which may create unnecessary pressure. In reality, a simpler, more authentic approach to sex leads to greater enjoyment.
5—(09:05-09:39) Fifth reason: Weakened husbands due to emasculation. Constantly criticizing, shaming, or treating husbands as inferior can emasculate them, causing a lack of attraction. This dynamic often leads to feelings of repulsion towards the husband, which stems from the wife’s own self-loathing.
- (09:39-12:42) The root of emasculation and loss of attraction is often linked to how women feel about themselves. Self-loathing is projected onto the husband, leading to conflict and diminished intimacy, with the wife feeling justified in her actions without recognizing her own role in the dynamic.
- (12:42-13:18) Ultimately, the breakdown in sexual interest is tied to internal self-esteem issues, with women unknowingly damaging both their relationship and their own sense of self-worth. The way they treat their husbands reflects how they feel about themselves.
Summarize the following content in 5-10 bullet points with timestamp if it’s transcript.
Title: “The Top 5 Reasons Your Wife Has No Interest In Sex (The REAL Story)”
Transcript: “(00:00) why as women we lose interest in sex once we are married and we stop wanting sex the first reason we’re going to save the the biggest one for last but the first reason number one is every time we have sex we feel like we’re giving another piece of ourselves away that we don’t have to give feel like we’re giving a piece of ourselves away and we feel like an object and that our husband is just taking something from us that isn’t there to give in the first place and the reason that we feel that way that that we’re giving that piece of ourselves (00:39) away is because it stems from our disconnection from ourselves it’s and and and it stems from our unhealthy relationship with ourselves which is that disconnection which is what I call being unhappy no one’s home no one’s in here we’re not connected to ourselves so we have nothing to give and from that place of being disconnected that place of being unhappy we are drained and we’re empty because we’re putting everything and everyone else before us there no there’s no consideration of ourselves there’s no thought of of of (01:20) what do I need to be doing to care for myself so that I can be full and whole and have plenty to give to my husband and plenty to give to my kids and other relationships we know we are the queens of putting ourselves last which is fascinating because we’re so selfish and so self-centered which actually stems from putting ourselves last because then we’re drained and we’re empty and we feel entitled than to pull sex away because we have nothing to give in the first place so that’s that’s the first reason why we lose interest and stop winning (01:57) sex the second reason of why we lose interest in stop wanting sex in our marriages is self-punishment number two is self-punishment I don’t deserve anything that’s going to make me feel good because we feel so bad about ourselves on the inside we are so insecure we pick ourselves apart we are constantly comparing ourselves to other women and their lives and what we think their lives look at look like we tear down how we look physically and and just beat ourselves up and and we know this as women we know this and (02:36) we can put a facade on and pretend we don’t have this I I I was real good at that but if we get really honest with ourselves and we shine the flashlight we will see how bad we feel about ourselves and then we withhold and deprive ourselves of anything that will make us feel good sex is designed to be a pleasurable experience it’s why God made us the way that we we are and the organs that we have and the we’re made to enjoy it both as as women and as men so the reason that we don’t is being shut down and again and there’s other (03:13) reasons to that but number two we lose interest because it’s a form of self-punishment the third reason that we lose interest in sex and stop wanting sex number three we need to be in control as women once we get married we get older the more and more rigid we become the more afraid we become of life and we start to to to to grasp and and and and clinch on very very tightly and trying to control everything in life and sex is a a relationship and a context in life that threatens that sense of control and makes us feel like we are (04:03) going to lose control because if you’re going to have fun and and and and and enjoy sex you got to loosen up a little bit and we don’t want to lose that control and we feel we lose the spontaneity and the um enjoyment in exploring exploration that we had when we were younger with sex and so we don’t want to loosen the reins and actually enjoy sex because we’re terrified of losing control and again ladies this is the stuff that hides that we suppress that we deny that we we make unconscious that we have to to shake up (04:43) and and and look at so that we can actually change it one of the best things that my mentor ever taught me is that as long as we deny it we cannot heal it we can only heal that which we are willing to expose and be vulnerable and and and look at the fourth reason that as women we lose interest in sex and we stop winning sex we never learn to enjoy it for ourselves in the first place that’s number four we never learned to enjoy it for ourselves in the per first place we had sex for all the wrong reasons we use sex as a weapon and (05:22) a manipulation to get men or to get our needs of of feeling wanted and liked and accepted and loved men and we had sex for the man we did what we thought we needed to do that they like to get them and we never stop to think what do I like we put on a show and we and we think oh I need to to be like this woman or I needed to be like what men see in porn and we start to put on the show and we’re never true to ourselves and we never really learn what we like and ultimately it means we’re shut down to sex and we don’t we don’t want to (06:02) feel we don’t want to feel and we don’t want to explore and understand ourselves and what we actually like and what we don’t like and then learn to be ourselves in sex ladies I can promise you all good men want is for you to be yourself in sex they it doesn’t I promise you my husband and I like to explore a lot of different things in the beginning of our relation relationship and and and things change once you get married and and you get older and you find what you like and what you don’t like and my H son said (06:40) I’m just so glad you’re yourself and you know what you like and enjoy and I’m so happy he said this morning when we were talking when he asked about what my show was about he was like yeah sexure is fun now it’s about knowing yourself and what you like and for us as women we’re so messed up around sex men understand sex for what it is it’s a physical experience it’s an enjoyable physical experience that we were made to have and we have all the right Point uh all the right parts to enjoy it and for it to be pleasurable but as women we make it (07:16) emotional and we make it about love I made sex about getting a relationship and it if in and sex meant relationship and sex meant love we we cannot be further off from that it’s a physical experience we get to enjoy and when we’re married there’s one person that we can enjoy that with which is our husbands so we never explored sex for ourselves we don’t a lot of us is when we don’t even know our bodies we don’t even understand our bodies sexually um and we’re scared to go there because we’ve made it so big and (07:50) overwhelming and we don’t know what we like we don’t we we don’t know what we don’t like and because we’ve never enjoyed it for learned to enjoy it for ourselves and done that exploration to understand what we like and don’t like we buy in to all the myths that are fed To Us by society and psychology and and and our our friends and the books we read all these myths that we’re like Ovens that and we need to be turned on and and we’re we’re told how we’re supposed to enjoy sex so that we need a lot of foreplay that we (08:27) need to be warmed up that we have to get to an orgasm every single time that we need it to last a long time that our husband needs to do all the work to get us in the mood which isn’t going to happen and number five is going to explain why you have to explore what you like you you I learned for myself and the majority of women that I have worked with I learned don’t need a lot of forplay it doesn’t need to be this complicated big production the simpler I make it the more I enjoy it and then the more my husband enjoys it so you’ve got to do (09:05) the work to explore for yourself and not just buy into what we’re told of how we’re wired with sex because a lot of it and don’t mean this crass is b s it’s BS when you really get to know yourself and you you open yourself up and you stop shutting down you will find it so much simpler than you ever imagine so that’s and I’ll get into that more in another video talked about that for a long time so that was number four number five this is the most important because this is the core issue the fifth reason of why (09:39) women lose interest in sex and stop wanting sex once they are married is we have weakened our husbands beyond the point of being attracted to them number five I’m going to repeat it because it’s the most important one we have weakened our husbands to the point of no longer being attracted to them that’s what happens ladies when we emasculate our husbands meaning we shame them we make them wrong constantly we nitpick everything that they do we tell them give them the message constantly how they are not good enough (10:31) we are constantly trying to change them we treat them like children when this is how we treat our husbands and we emasculate them every all those examples that’s how we emasculate we we strip our husbands of their their sense of being a man and and weaken them and make them a shell of a man of course we’re not attracted to them after we do that to them the most common word that gets used and and this is is where I had gotten to and it wasn’t my husband’s fault it was my own doing the most common word that we use (11:16) as women of what happens once we weaken our husbands to the point of no longer being attracted to them is we are repulsed by them we find them repul iive that’s what happens for us when we emasculate our husbands as we become repulsed and it is our own doing it is our own doing through the emasculation that we become repulsed by our husbands and ultimately the emasculation the weakening of our husbands stems from how we feel feel about ourselves and that we’re repulsed by ourselves when when this is how we treat (12:05) our husbands who are good men and we shame them and we make them wrong and nothing they can do is right and we’re we’re cruel and we’re unkind from that place it’s a reflection of how much we don’t like ourselves and how deep down truly how we loathe and hate ourselves and we don’t have the context to see that and go there and and resolve it and work on it we don’t get the right context we’re taken in the wrong direction thinking we feel those ways because it’s our upbringing our childhood our family our parents our past and there’s no solution (12:42) there we’re not taught how to go in and take responsibility no we don’t feel good about ourselves because of the choices and decisions we make and in in this context of marriage how we show up in our relationships is not good women and not good people so then we don’t feel good about ourselves and we take it out on our husbands because we we think we’re Justified and think it’s it’s them they’re the ones causing us to feel that way but the truth is we’re repulsed by ourselves and then we’ve projected that onto our husbands and weakened them and (13:18) then we’re no longer attracted to them so those are are the top five reasons of why as women we stop wanting sex and lose interest once we are married”