10 Things a Good Men
Should Not Agree To

To Make His Wife Happy

 

• How not to resolve Underlying Unhappiness:
• Never-ending house renovations can be distractions from deeper issues.
• Using Counseling as a way to “fix” the husband,
• Degrading/Dehumanizing rather than helpful.
• Getting a dog, or having a child, moving your location:
  (to resolve Underlying Unhappiness)

 

Ladies, are you unknowingly pushing your husband away?

 

 

Summary of “10 Things Good Men Should NEVER Agree To With His Wife”

General Premise (00:00 – 02:04)

• • The speaker argues that good men often believe doing certain things will make their wives happy, but these actions won’t resolve underlying unhappiness.
  • A happy person doesn’t need external changes to feel fulfilled.

1. Moving to Another City (02:38 – 03:55)
   • Relocating for a wife’s happiness (closer to family, different environment) often results in continued dissatisfaction.
2. Getting a Dog (03:55 – 04:26)
   • If a wife pressures a husband into getting a dog to “complete the family,” it may indicate deeper unfulfillment.
   • Often, the responsibility of caring for the pet falls on the husband.
3. Letting Her Quit Her Job (05:07 – 06:48)
   • Quitting work believing it will bring happiness often leads to dissatisfaction due to lack of structure.
   • Can add financial strain and emotional stress to the relationship.
4. Doing Grocery Shopping for Her (06:48 – 08:34)
   • Being forced into grocery shopping can be burdensome and often leads to conflicts over choices.
   • Some men feel trapped or criticized for not getting the “right” items.
5. Opening the Marriage (08:34 – 09:50)
   • Allowing an open marriage can be emotionally devastating.
   • The speaker warns that coercion into such an arrangement rarely ends well and usually leads to divorce.
6. Getting a Vasectomy (09:50 – 10:25)
   • A man should not agree to a vasectomy under pressure from his wife.
   • It should be a mutual decision, not a coerced one based on past sacrifices.
7. Having Another Baby (10:25 – 11:41)
   • Some women push for another child, thinking it will fix their dissatisfaction.
   • The speaker warns against agreeing just to appease a partner.
8. Stopping Drinking (11:41 – 12:15)
   • If a man drinks responsibly, being pressured to stop drinking altogether may not be about the alcohol but about control.
9. Constant Home Remodeling Projects (12:15 – 12:52)
   • Never-ending house renovations can be distractions from deeper issues.
   • These projects can create unnecessary stress, financial burdens, and strain on the relationship.
10. Going to Counseling (12:52 – 14:37)
    • Using counseling as a way to “fix” the husband. This can be degrading rather than helpful.
    • The speaker believes men should focus on their own well-being instead.

Conclusion (14:37 – 15:50)

• The speaker argues that men cannot “fix” their wives’ happiness by complying with these demands.
• Instead, men should focus on their own confidence, boundaries, and personal well-being.
• Promotes courses for both men and women to address these relationship dynamics.

 

 

 

Title: “10 Things Good Men Should NEVER Agree To With His Wife”

Transcript: “(00:00)

10 things a good man should never agree to with his wife in that framework and context that if you somehow did these things it would make your wife happy.

She might not outright say these things “if we do this: I’ll be happy” but her coercing you and nagging you and getting you to feel sorry for her and pulling you into her story of why she needs needs these things, implies to a good man that these would make her happy.

It’s an implied impression that these will make her happy, and leads good men to believe that if they did these (00:46) things it would solve some problems, and his wife would finally be happy and content, and they could have a nice good relationship and marriage.

Men you have to retire from these things. The fact that you even think you need to do these things to make your wife happy tells you she is unhappy.

Happy people don’t need you to do things to make them happy!

With unhappy people there’s nothing you can do to make them happy.

She will still be unhappy, no matter what.

That’s like what what we’ve been talking about. It’s also important good men (01:27) understand you didn’t get the wrong wife.

You got a woman, and and to a degree we have this unhappiness inside of us, that we think you’re supposed to somehow solve, and then you buy into that as women were just wired differently than men or wired to be unhappy.

The good news is: we can change it, if we want to. If we’re willing to take accountability.

So this list of 10 things a good man should never agree to with his wife … is important to know.

This is in the context of a good man being coerced or being led to believe if he (02:04) did these things it would solve some problem and his wife would be happy.

Of course if these are things you and your wife decide you want together that’s a totally different story.

This is just in the context that you believe if you did these things even, if you don’t want to do them, again it would solve some problem, and she would be happy.

So let’s get into the 10 things a good man should never agree to with his wife thinking it will make her happy.

Number one: move to another city.

[The below sentences still need editting.]

I have talked to so many men who have been in a constant move, because their wife they they move their wife and family to someplace his wife doesn’t like it and thinks she wants to be here now so they move again and he’s caught in that cycle or or men that have moved and gone to a new place (03:20) thinking that will make his wife happy and it might be you know things like she wants to be close to family or she wants to get away from family or she wants to get away from your family or she’s unhappy where you are at because it’s too small and it’s too small of a town and she wants to be in a big city or you’re in a bigger city and she wants to be in a small town and she thinks that’ll make her happy whatever reason it is it won’t make her happy number two she wants to get a dog and wants you to agree to get a dog that (03:55) it surprisingly comes up a lot where the wife gets the kids on her team we really want to get a dog and we want to get a puppy and maybe you’re not an animal lover and that you just don’t want the responsibility or you know if we get a dog or another dog I’m going to be the one that ends up taking care of it cuz she’s not going to take accountability for it and she’s not going to walk in and do the work so it’s a a red flag if she’s trying to talk you into getting a dog for the family to complete the family unit and if we just (04:26) had a dog or another dog or we got a puppy that she would be happy it is a red flag telling you she’s unfulfilled and that she’s not happy with what she has and that it’s not enough and it won’t make her happy number three agreeing to let her quit her job and stop working again that that’s a totally different topic if that’s a value you and your wife have for her to be a stay-at-home mom and and care for the kids or to not work the separate separate contact context I’m talking about if she’s trying to coer you into (05:07) quitting her job because she thinks she’ll be happy or not working and and you and said can we please go down to to one income can we make it work and you might be thinking I don’t think that’s going to be good for her or it’s not going to be good for our finances and that’s going to put a huge strain and stress on the on me and the relationship and maybe you know your wife and know this is going to be a nightmare if she’s home all the time so agreeing to let her quit her job and and stop working under the GU that (05:39) she thinks that will solve some problem and make her be happy it won’t some of the most unhappy women I have worked with over the years are those who quit their jobs and quit working thinking that that would make them happy the problem is there’s no structure in their day especially if they they aren’t don’t have kids at home or kidss are in school and and they’ve got a whole block of time through the day to do whatever or to do nothing there’s no structure I’ve had I won’t get too much in this because this can lead us way off (06:15) into a tangent I have learned structure is key to feeling fulfilled and content in life and parenting ourselves within that structure it helps add meaning and purpose and and and allows us to actually move forward so we don’t go in circles it’s imperative I’ll do another video on that another time because it’s a pretty big concept and being happy and having a healthy relationship with ourselves is having structure in life but the problem with being home there’s nothing to get up for and as women we become spoiled entitled in a mess so (06:48) that’s number three number four of what a good man should never agree to with his wife thinking it will make her happy going grocery shopping for her and the family or with her and she might say it’s too much on my plate I need you to take over the grocery shopping or I need you to go with me and we need to do it together oh I can’t every time I go to the grocery store I’d say most times if I’m paying attention when I go to the grocery store I can see a couple together and the man is just just looks beat down shut down being dragged along (07:26) and they fight over prices or no that don’t you picked up the wrong thing that’s not what we get here just let me pick it out all the time I say it all the time or the other end of going in a man at the grocery store at himself and and and actually uh David my mentor shared this story he uh was grocery shopping a while back I don’t remember when this was doesn’t really matter I guess but he was grocery shopping and he saw a man just like looking just looking at at at at an aisle and he said you struggling to find (07:58) what what you’re looking for said oh I can’t remember which brand my wife told me to get and if I don’t get the right brand and I come home with the wrong brand I’m just going to get torn a new one and I see that all the time too that you’ll never get the right thing you’ll never get the right brand and it’ll be something that she just takes out on you another thing you do wrong that you can’t do right number five I like there’s a couple on here though that I shouldn’t have to say but in this day and age um it these things are not uncommon I (08:34) wouldn’t say they’re totally common but they’re not uncommon so number five that a good man should never agree to with his wife is to open the marriage I really shouldn’t have to explain this much more but I was actually just on X I think yesterday or Thursday and saw a Reddit post from bless this man a man who him and his his wife decided to open the marriage she really wanted it and he was Wonder I’m just she’s out with her boyfriend right now and she’s communicating with me and it’s everything we agreed to but I am just (09:14) feeling crushed and devastated because a good man cares enough about their wives that she can coers him and manipulate him and and and Gaslight him to believe that that is somehow a good idea I think that one speaks for self but do not open the marriage it will not make her happy and you will end up feeling totally crushed and destroyed and the marriage will not work out and you will ultimately end up in divorce so that’s number five number six that you shouldn’t agree to with your wife is a vasectomy again if she’s (09:50) trying to coer you into getting a vasectomy because she’s telling you that you need to do it you’re the one that needs needs to fix this cuz I’ve gone through l I had a difficult birth I had to have a C-section it’s now your responsibility to step up to the plate and do this it will not make her happy and and you having to to go through that pain and go through that thinking it will make her happy and it won’t and again the being coerced into that is the key point of that that will solve some problem that will make will make her (10:25) happy number seven a good man should never agree to with his wife again of her saying that this will somehow make her happy or imply that it will make her happy having another baby I have worked with with many people uh women and men Through The Years who thought having another baby was a good idea that that’s what they needed in the marriage and a woman will think you know maybe you guys have two boys and she really wants a girl and but you guys decided on two kids and now she’s like begging you for a third child or maybe (11:02) you guys decided when you got married too that you weren’t going to have children and you both didn’t want children and now she’s changed her mind and said I really want a baby or uh women sometimes want the baby and and so when the kids get older they want a baby again and again it’s just another distraction from life so number eight that a good man should not agreed to with his wife thinking it will make her happy is stopping drinking and I’m not talking about a drinking problem talking about a wife nagging a a good man cuz he (11:41) likes to have a couple of drinks after work and he’s responsible and reasonable and his drinking that she will want you to cut back because she wants to cut back or stop drinking or she thinks and and projects on to you that you drink too much and you’re irresponsible or you married the party girl who let like to have a good time and all of the sudden she’s thinks drinking is immature even just responsible normal drinking and now she wants you to stop it will not make her happy number nine of things good men (12:15) should not agree to to make their wives happy number nine remodeling projects I recently had a student come through my men’s course and and his wife had constant remodeling projects and one project wouldn’t even be finished yet and she was already wanting to start another one with no regard to time money energy the stress that that puts on him the stress that puts on the relationship and the family so it’s again a lot of these are just another distraction from life so that they can stay focused on something else and not deal with themselves and (12:52) not deal with life and number 10 of what a good man should not agree to with his wife thinking it will make her happy number 10 going to counseling and she tells you you’re the reason your your trauma and your history and your childhood are the reason that we have these issues and challenges in our marriage and you need to go to counseling and figure yourself out and and get these issues solved or or we need to go to marriage counseling because I need you to work on these things and and we need to work on these (13:26) things as a couple it will not make her happy and it will make you feel weak and degraded and that there is something wrong with you when if you’re a good man you’re typically reasonably adjusted to life a problem solver and can work through things and don’t hold on to the stories of your life as the reason for your problems that’s what we do as women that then we project onto you and psychoanalyze you it will not make her happy so as I was making this list of 10 and like I said please put in the comments or the chat uh (14:00) um what I missed that you’ve you’ve done thinking it would make your wife happy uh when I was making this list I realized I could easily make another 10 and another 10 and another 10 but it’s most important to to reinforce that good men have to retire from making their wife happy because none of these things will do it she will just add more to the list and you have to understand why these things won’t make her Happ happy is because she’s unhappy in herself and it’s her she’s making herself unhappy so it’s her problem to (14:37) fix and you’re trying to fix it by doing these things or other things she tells you that implies that that will solve the problem and she’ll be happy will never ever work if you want to do these things again if you want to do them do them because it makes you feel good about who you are as a man and a husband rather than thinking it will make her happy or solve some problem and things will be good that’s where good men get caught and and where you get stuck in that that then ultimately you feel emasculated degraded and diminished and (15:13) unappreciated hello again thank you so much for taking the time to watch today for those women listening who know you are the problem and want to path forward to change your inner turmoil and unhappiness I have a course for women called the happiness program which is the solution to the unhealthy relationship you have with yourself and the issues and challenges you have in your marriage and your life you can find a link below in the description to apply for a free course consultation with me for the good men listening who want a (15:50) solution to take back the power you’ve unknowingly given away to your wife I have a course for you too called the marriage rescue course for Goodman only that teaches you how to rebuild your strength and confidence so that you can navigate the relationship with your wife in a healthy constructive way again you can find the link below in the description to apply for a free course consultation with me thank you again so much for watching and I look forward to seeing you soon”